CONSTRUCTION

I always really liked the “Graduation Cap Hack” site [link] I saw last year, which was brought to my attention only a few days after graduating from my Bachelor degree. However, there were a couple of aspects of the site that disappointed me. For starters, I expected the video link on the site to show a movie of someone actually wearing the hat at a graduation ceremony, and not just in someone’s lounge room, and I was also disappointed that I discovered the link AFTER graduation, because I would have considered making one for the occasion.

Another year rolled around, and I finished my Master degree in Business Information Systems. This, of course, meant another graduation.

The spinning graduation hat completely slipped my mind until two days before the event, when I lamented to the dudes at work that I didn’t have the time/parts to fashion anything together that quickly.

A good friend and work-colleague, Matt, said that he’d probably be able to bring in the parts the next day – as long as I’d promise to wear it at the ceremony.

So the very next day he brought in an assembled motor setup consisting of a metal support frame, CD-ROM motor, wiring, switch and battery-pack. What a champ.

In my lunchbreak I bought a $5 kid’s costume graduation cap from the craft store Spotlight and we put it all together like so:

Rock. It was all ready to go for the following day.

BEFORE THE CEREMONY

Having graduated the year before, I knew the drill. I’d need some good excuses up my sleeve to get my hat – which was undersize, had a different tassel, and a wire running down the back – past the FOUR administrative checks the University organises backstage before you get to walk across the stage.

So on the day, I changed into my robe, and discreetly swapped the provided hat with my modified hat before being ushered inside. I sat in the theatre worried that I could be spotted at any moment since I was sitting on the end of the aisle with security and administrators directly next to me. I was worried that I might accidentally knock the switch and the jig would be up. Or, one of the security guards might’ve noticed the battery pack and wires taped to my arm and figured me for a terrorist. Thankfully, no one did.

The guest speaker at this year’s ceremony was much more interesting (and concise) than last year’s. You see, my degree (MBIS) shifted schools, from the School of Accounting and Information Systems (read: economics & business stuff) to the School of Computing and Information Systems (read: engineering and geeky stuff). The speaker tailored his speech to the School of CIS audience and talked about how IT students need to “stay imaginative” and “not be dogmatic”. How appropriate.

GETTING PAST THE AMDINISTRATORS

Eventually the ceremony began, and the students were filed out of their seats row-by-row to go backstage. Behind the curtain you walk along what is essentially a factory-line to get your name ticked off, make sure you’re all in order, and have administrators check that you’re wearing the correct hat, sash, gown, and so forth.

Every time an administrator would start checking me out, my good friend and Uni colleague Toula would run interference behind me, saying things like, “Excuse me! Is my sash correct? Can you fix it up for me? Thanks!” The administrator would then pass over me to sort out Toula.

At one point, the lady who does the final check was looking at the way my sash was hanging at the back of my gown and noticed the wire running from my hat. She tugged it, and I immediately grabbed my ear yelling “Ow! My hearing aid!” Although Toula told me later that she said she wasn’t fooled by my ruse, it was evidentially enough to put her off-guard for me to get by. Once I was at the edge of the stage there was no time to stop me.

THE BIG MOMENT

I nervously stood there and waited for my name to be called. I stepped forward on the stage, customarily tipped my hat to the Vice Chancellor, and started to walk towards the centre. At the same moment I began walking, I flicked the switch and my hat began spinning.

There was only one thought going through my mind at that moment. During tests the previous night, I discovered that the board was very precariously attached to the motor. If I pushed the board down too far, it wouldn’t spin. If I didn’t push it down far enough, it would spin up and fly off in a random direction. Needless to say, all I could think about was what the hell I would do if the board flew off and hit the Vice Chancellor in the face.

Thankfully, it was flawless.

THANKS GO TO

Adam Jenkins
For bringing the hat to my attention last year. [link]

Matt Miller
For manufacturing the motorised magic behind the mortarboard. (Hooray for alliteration!)

Toula Glezos
For distracting the Administrators

Michael O’Leary
While most people were giggling, it was Michael who started “the clap” that got the applause going.

Prof. Lee Parker
My favourite uncle EVER. If I ever had any doubts about going through with my plan, they were quashed after bumping into him at Lunch the day before the event. Thanks for the encouragement!

Mum, Dad, and the University of South Australia
For putting up with me.

LOTS MORE WACKY PICTURES FROM GRADUATION: